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September 8, 2010
by Davey Wavey
100 Comments



What is Your Favorite Thing About Being Gay?

I’ve long-since believed that being gay is a gift.

If I wasn’t gay, I would have never steered off my corporate career path, I wouldn’t be cultivating this blog and I wouldn’t be connecting with you. I would have never realized my passion for equality, or used art as a means of self-expression. I’m so grateful for the gift that is my sexuality.

When it comes to being gay, I tend to see the glass half full (not surprisingly, I suppose). Even the most difficult struggles have made me all-the-wiser; I wouldn’t give them back for the world.

If I had to pick a favorite aspect of being gay, I think it would be this: That where there is great hardship and difficultly, there is a tremendous opportunity to be stronger than we could have ever imagined.

Of course, that I don’t have to eat pussy would be a close second.

But what about you? What is your favorite thing about being gay?

100 Comments

  1. my favorite thing is trying to find a boyfriend and looking at diffrent asses .

    i also wanna say davey your the sexiest guy on the web.

  2. I realy don’t think being gay is a gift, it’s just something that came with us since we were born like for example the hair colour, nose shape, etc. But certainly being gay made me, in a positive way, diferent from my straight mates and I’m quite grateful about it.

    xoxox

  3. Yeah, that is pretty great, actually. Fucking sweet, shaving is. I personally prefer depilatories. And at first when I saw this new blog post I was just like @_@ because it took me a second to realize the picture said “I eat pussy” and not “I eat cat”…! XD “What on earth is this blog about!?” haha

  4. definitely! Yay in-depth thinking skills!

  5. daveywavey i love this post so much. thank you. being gay is definitely a gift from God. Im so grateful and blessed that im gay. i wouldnt be the person who i am if i was not gay. couldnt be more successful and amazing.

  6. me again…actually.reading, from what i understand from all those comments is that being gay, is being different…and as kids we usually want to be like the other and start suffering from that difference, and people who are writing here seems to be as adults proud of it, wich is great…but more you liste peple and there lifes stories more you understand that everybody is different,and embracing it ,acceptinf your unicity makes you a great person…gay,bi straight,transgender,whatever color you are..so you are right to be happy of who you are since you accept it and make it even better every day….

  7. Being gay is just so much fun! We have way more fun than the straights do, for sure!

  8. And how, pray tell, did you come to this conclusion, Jack? Sure. Being gay is fun, but it has its drawbacks too. For instance: if me and my man were to get kids, they would never be a combination of our genes.

  9. male intimacy that is missing with hetro males. a hug. a touch. just dont get that as a str8 male.

  10. I feel kind of the same way as Scott. I don’t really like the fact that I am gay. Yes, I have told pretty much everyone, and most people see that I do, in fact, embrace my gayness well, so to speak.

    I still can’t shake the fact that I hate being gay. I wish that I could be like all my friends. There are times when some of my friends get uncomfortable around me, and there’s not much I can do about that. It gets annoying.

    While I do embrace my gayness, a lot of my friends say that I am the “straightest” gay person they know. I don’t know what it is, but I still always wish that I wasn’t gay. I just embrace it because I know there is no way of changing who I am.

  11. I agree with dan, Just the comfort of being with another man, Even the simplest of moments, the cuddles on the sofa and a kiss on the neck. Stuff you can’t get any other way.

  12. Davey Wavey..Good Morning!..A favorite thing about being gay is being able to like..er love men..every part of men..enough to make over 150++ male groups on yahell and not feel guilty.. :) Love “your” David

  13. I hear you on this. Being gay is simply a part of who I am (albeit a fabulous part..particularly if like having sex with someone of the same sex). But again…just part of, all that I am.
    I don’t know that being gay has made me any more clever, but it does color my parlance in any given conversation, discussion or debate.
    Oh and Davey, before you knock ‘eating pussy’ don’t forget our lesbian sisters for whom (I understand it is an art)….and while we’re on the topic of sexual “likes”…there are some sexual practices among gay men…that are ‘not’ on my repitoire. I’m just saying.

  14. it’s a damn good thing i’m gay because it would be hell liking penis as a straight guy. plus i grew up in a really butch family, and i never got into football or basketball, so instead of being put into endless therapy groups to discover my problem, now my family just says “oh, well he’s gay” and that explains everything. and another thing, my gay friends are so much more fun and adventurous and diverse than my straight friends and that adds a lot to my enjoyment to my life. and the kicker is that i can buy underwear and actually like the calvin klein models on the outside of the package!

  15. Sorry guys,

    After a lot of effort I don’t like being gay. If given the option I would have chosen being str8. sorry…….

    I really hate being the exotic bird.

    I once told a therapist that I was, “good at making lemonade out of lemons” (and I am). He responded that, “maybe I lost sight of the lemon” and, as always, disassociated (which I’m good at). That is where sex, alcohol, drugs, porn and getting lost is projects come in. That’s the sugar….

    “Discontent is the first step of progress” and I’ve made a lot of progress. But, when it’s all boiled down I still feel that I would have preferred being str8.

    I think I have put a ton of energy into self acceptance, etc. where many str8 people don’t even think about it.

    As much of an illusion it might be for the str8s it’s still easier and equally illusional to be gay.

    I’m tire of making it work….

    I hate the fact that if out people think my sex is kicky and whatever they do is “normal”.

    I have put a lot of sugar on being gay but I think it is alot of work. I’m not even good at being stereotypically gay.

  16. Being gay is not just about “who you fuck”, as you will hopefully realise one day. That would be a very pornomovie-like existence. Some of us are practically made of rainbows and glitter and gay-ness informs the majority of our life experience. Others, like you I suppose, find it to be purely sexual and barely notice the other ways it impacts their life.
    Just because some of our positive experiences and feelings have their roots in being on the margins of society does not make them fictional or non-valid. And just because there are gay “assholes” does not cancel out that some of us were made better persons than we previously were by coming out of the closet.

  17. Being a part of a community that has so much strength. We are all in the fight for equality together, which makes us all connected.

  18. Don’t be stereotypically gay if that’s not who you really are, what others think only matters as much as you feel it does. We’re all here for you.

    In my mind, society’s stereotype is the flamboyant, fashionable, fabulous guy. Is that the stereotype you’re thinking of? If it is, I can honestly tell you that I don’t fit that either. My voice is kind of shrill and that’s about all that puts me in that “stereotype” and I can’t control that. I have no fashion sense, I don’t care for it, and I don’t have a lot of sex. People have told me that I look pretty good too. I like cooking, playing video games, and jogging. I’m into my academics as well, which don’t include fashion or LGBTQ studies, nothing wrong with it, but I like other stuff (languages major). Somehow, it’s not hard for me to accept myself. I have my moments of doubt/self-scrutiny but I am usually too wrapped up in all my responsibilities to think about it. I hope this helps. Idiot roommate didn’t let me sleep much last night, btw.

  19. Growing up a white male, I never experienced the feelings of being a minority. Now that I have understand and accept who I really am as an adult, a gay man, I couldn’t be happier. I am much more at peace with myself and others, enjoy dressing and doing things without fear of being labeled. I have met incredible gays and lesbians, feel blessed because of it and attend an inclusive church, realize God loves me the way I am. My grown sons have accepted and embraced who I am and, most importantly, so have I. I feel special, realize this is who I always was meant to be. By the way, it’s so much more than just the sex (although amazing). It’s about a touch, carress, kiss, hug and the overall intimacy of being with another man you care for. I never had these kinds of feelings with a female.

  20. By the way, this is a fantastic blog to help a man (or woman) come to grips and enjoy being who they really are.

  21. Thanks viee,

    I am grateful for this blog and it’s potential for support. I’m fairly new here but wonder why participants are attracted to it. Is it to perpetuate the delusion of being gay or to find answers to life long and puzzeling questions.

    We are stigmatized by society. The right wing Christians hate us and use God as the weapon of choice. In the Middle East and other parts of the world we could be executed for being gay.

    I suppose if you fully expose yourself to like minded people you can be more self accepting but I think but not sure that’s delusional.

    I’ve been gay since dirt was invented and have lived many places. I was in a 18 and 5 year relationship. My gay life started with sexual abuse with a priest, so the God trip never worked for me but I also got a “taste” of how abusive and misguided a gay relationship could be. Maybe the reason why I question how wonderful being gay is.

    I consider myself very spiritual but not religious and maybe value the questions of life vs. the answers. Answers like, “God loves me the way I am” somewhat dead-ends the search for meaning. First of all, “is there really a God” or is that another delusion we buy into much like we did Santa Claus? Why did we stop believing in Santa Claus (and the Easter bunny) but not God?

    I’ve been in gay clicks but outgrew them; sort of like gossip and dishing circles; the type of friends that are friends only when you agree with them.

    What about here?

  22. I love the feeling of making love with a man. The combination of powerful embraces and tenderness is exhilarating.

  23. Wow! What a question and what wonderfilled responses. They are all true for me, and I am also gratefull because I get to know Davey Wavey and read the insightful responses. I particularly identify with CeltboyGary’s comment immediately above!!

  24. Hightened consciousness.

    Being born fundamentally different from the people around me forced me, from the earliest age, to be more aware of the world I live in.

    This sensitivity prepared me for a deeper sense of who and what I am, compared to those who just blended in to the status quo of the straight world. The basic falsehood of “normality” lead me to question all the other givens of my world. God, politics, my nation’s false image of itself in the world, the very meaning of love, all came under question as a result of the fundamental difference of being gay. Even the idea of family was transformed to include those who were like me as opposed to simply those who shared the same DNA.

    I honor my difference every moment of every day. My world is full of wonder at the beauty that surrounds us because I can see the beauty in men as well as women. Imagine how dull the world would be without us. Who would arrange the flowers and design the furniture? Who would point to the wonderous world around us with such joy?

    To be gay is to love. Above all it is to love life and all Its beauty. It also means to know suffering, the kind that comes from rejection and hostility that some show toward us. It only makes us stronger.

    Celebrate gayness.

    Be well,

  25. @Scott: There is no “other” team. There is only the human team of all of us trying to come to terms with who we are in the universe. The gay side exists in all of us just as the straight side does. But it is not a matter of simple choice. It is a freeing of who you are fully. You have the right to be joyous with whoever you wish. If that joy includes loving another person of the same sex, so be it. If your “friends” find this troublesome, than are they really your friends?

    Just BE you. No one else can.

    Be well,

  26. All of the above are noble and commendable reasons for being gay, but the number one reason I love being gay is having a huge dick up my butt, to be honest and blunt! Nothing feels as amazing as getting f–ked, and I always say God made the prostate for a reason and staright men don’t know what they’re missing!

  27. For me the thing I like the most is also the thing I like the least…our diversity. So many “catagories” but sadly, it seems almost impossible to bridge them and make us acceptable to each other.

  28. Greg,

    I think your entry has just saved me a year or two of therapy, that is, if I was in therapy. I can relate to your words 100%. Thank you.

  29. My favorite thing about being gay is the fact that it has allowed me to be a person that is not quick to judge other people by appearance.

  30. My favorite thing about being gay is that my parents are excepting, and at first when I came out, I knew no gay people. Then it’s like this whole gay community came to welcome me!
    And my friends are excepting. I go to an all guys school (not as yummy as it sounds, they are stuck up) and at a social or disco what ever you want to call it, i was into all the dancing with the girls, the guys were so so pissed off. It felt good!

    Also I had gotten alot of crap from people about it. But I got used to it, I am resilient and I have good self confidence!

    -Andy.
    Show your true colours no matter what!

    P.S lots of comments!!!!!

  31. I believe many of us are falling victim to labels that don’t apply to us. It can be difficult in a society that has limited words and ideas that express us.

    Simply put being GLBT is being a different sex. We may share similar anatomies with standard male and female but we are each unique people.

    Our thoughts emotions, and very lives combine with our sexual nature to create unique views and expressions.

    We are not masculine or feminine, queenie or butch, and certainly not top or bottom. We are GLBT! To define ourselves anything else is to diminish us.

    We are all beautiful the way we express ourselves. So stop hiding, resenting, or even trying to change your nature. Be you because you are different than the rest and that’s what makes you special.

    Let’s set our own identity and terms instead of trying to fit a system that really does not apply to us.

    Be free and be happy! :)

    Peace to you all,

    T

  32. I love that I get to question EVERYTHING, including my own ideas!
    Because I don’t fit into a handy little pigeonhole I have had to THINK about who I am, what my society holds as ‘true’, and whether what I believe is accurate. That’s a HUGE gift in my estimation.

  33. Except for being with the man I love, the best thing about my being gay is the fact that I was able to avoid growing up as bigoted as the rest of the family. I never realized it while growing up. I first noticed the comments about gays, then gradually heard the comments about “different” ethnicities, religious beliefs, countries of origin…

  34. You just stereotyped straight men….

  35. I often find myself attending Pride events and other fantastic gay community functions thinking about how most straight couples are probably at home watching Friday night tv and worrying how to pay for their kids braces. I think being gay has allowed me to experience a number of things that are unique and that most people don’t even know happens.

  36. Since I live in Massachusetts I occasionally escape to P-town. The one of the busiest weekds of the summer is Carnival week.

    That week used to appeal to me but now being gay is relatively mainstream and during the build-up to the Thursday parade it saddens me to see well done-up drag queens posing in front of str8 washed up str8 couples (especially the wives)having their pictures taken as if they were exotic birds.

    Yet, on another note, this year I met Ellie of P-town who has inspirited me; married 4 times with tons of kids turned transexual and wonderful street singer. http://www.ptownellie.com.

    I’m Mr. Str8 acting gay guy and Ellie is Mr. Out-there at 79 putting on quite a performance.

    Why am I infactuated with him/her? Check out the website or YouTube.

    I’m grateful for the connection and today’s blog of wonderful points of view.

  37. My favorite thing about being gay is that I wouldn’t have been able to help the people I’ve helped while I was gay, if I had been straight.

    I wouldn’t have met the people I have, and liked many of them because they were gay, funny, cute, adorable and sexy. I wouldn’t be chatting on a blog that’s being made by Davey Wavey.

    Peace!

  38. I love not having to put up with some of the bullpoop standards that women have for men. No disrespect but some of my female friends have the annoying habit of having impossibly high standards and complaining about all the guys that don’t meet those standards.

  39. Maybe. Maybe not. We as human beings are all able to be as light and aware or as dark and unaware as we choose or can comprehend. Gender and sexuality are only a part of who we are. I believe that prior to each life we choose many what we will be born into, including gay/straight. We make these choices because we want to use them as catalyst for learning and being. Being gay/straight or male/female or anything else is simply part of the human learning experience.

    It’s a wonderful thing to have chosen to be gay and find that you are comfortable in your own skin and happy with the choice.

    Look at the people that are self loathing gays, esp those in congress etc that make anti-gay laws just to stay in power. So sad to be in that state of mind.

    So, revel in your beautiful, gay or straight loving, perceptive self. One is not better than the other. Both are wonderful. Choose to be gay or straight next time you make your appearance on this beautiful planet, either will work for you to learn and be whatever wonderful person you want. It’s just that one in particular (or the other) will help accomplish this lifetimes’ goals.

  40. My favorite thing about being gay is that otherwise I wouldn’t be Me: I appreciate every aspect of my being. Being gay is part of me, not me in itself.

  41. This is a question which, almost necessarily, gets a cyclical answer. That is, my favorite thing about being gay, is that I am gay. There are any number of stereotypes one can choose to conform to, reject, or otherwise deal with. But ultimately, whether one listens to Lady Gaga, takes an interest in fashion, works out, or is society’s idea of gay in any other way, is totally irrelevant. What matters is that you embrace who you are. And if you are gay, whatever else you might be, then your embracing of your true self is the best part.

  42. -Being In Love-Yeah!! Cheers!!=D

  43. My favorite thing about being gay is that it has made me who i am today. Being faced with so much adversity in society has made me more tolerant of others than if i was not part of a minority myself.

    Also, i love being able to get all the cute guys my girl friends wish they could have. lol

  44. all hot guys a jerks
    all nice guys are ugly but
    all the hot nice guys are gay.
    Need I say more

  45. I love that it is perfectly fine for porn stars to march in our parades.

  46. I definity agree with number six (both of them)

  47. it took 4 years for me to be not just comfortable, but amazingly happy and free

  48. The best thing about being gay for me is the obvious which I have not seen anyone else say, IT IS THE GUYS!

    Well, CelticBoy Gary pretty much said what I think of it, though he said it in a more narrow sexual way. Many of the personalities I have known over the years have brought me so much joy and laughter, even the bitchy queens playing the role of acid social rejects were really the kindest marshmallows inside who loved me for what I am, that mask was just their form of protest and I actually miss them.

    But we gay men who are not all that hung up about it have a better appreciation for honesty, we see what others refuse to see, and it can be tempting to think ignorance is bliss as so often demonstrated by many of our heterosexual peers, but really, in truth would you want to be intentionally ignorant? Or to live in denial? I have lived a life that is so far more rich in experience than most of the people I went to school with, and at a very young 52 I look back and shudder at what might have been if just a few things went differently. I look forward to the remaining years and wish for more beyond that, life is such a wonderful gift when you are gay and happy to be in this club of special men. I only wish I were wealthy enough to educate and meet the needs of all the youth out there who need us older role models for mentorship and guidence.

    I think we all know that if there were NO stigma associated with loving or sex with another man the number of people that would do it would be FAR higher, one look at CraigsList will tell you that, but their fear and self loathing prevents them from living as free men who may or may not self actualize, but living in a closet is akin to prison, but a very claustrophobic cell it is when it is no larger than your own skin.

    I think that a lot of “straight” guys are actually attracted to other guys but nurse such an outlandish level of fear that they will slip up and get labeled as a homo that they overcompensate and some even really hate us because they are jealous, or blame us for making gay an option they themselves do not have the courage to be. That is if we were gone there would be no further temptation and nobody would suspect them of wishing they could hold another man. Can you imagine yourself in their shoes? How sad it would be.

  49. Mark,

    I found your message refreshing. I’m around your age but for me the effort that has gone into feeling good about being gay has been a draining effort.

    Could your experience be a result of where you live? Do you live in a liberal area?

    Your message at least got me to ponder that I could be having as much fun as you are. You got me thinking about counting my blessings and not focusing on the negative side of being gay. Thank-you….

  50. Being gay allows me to come closer to my friends and family

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