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May 28, 2008
by Davey Wavey
102 Comments



What’s so bad about being a slut, anyways?

There are a lot of things in life that never cease to baffle me. One of them is the stigma associated with having numerous sexual partners.

While the stigma is weakest among straight men (straight guys that have many partners are considered “studs”) and strongest among women (women that have many partners are considered “sluts”), it is also carried over into the gay world.

“But I’m not a slut.” I’ve heard that response more than a few times while engaged in conversation. It’s usually said quickly and defensively. I always respond, “So what if you are?” That usually doesn’t go over too well.

If having sex with numerous people makes you happy, then who are any of us to judge? Sure, there are negative consequences to promiscuity like STDs, but there are negative consequences of many other things in life… like eating ice cream, getting tan or driving a car.

And let’s be real… most of us have, at at least some point in our lives, been promiscuous (myself included). Maybe it was the one night stand you had while on Spring break. Or the cute guy you met on the train. Degrading someone because of their sexual promiscuity is a lot like the pot calling the kettle black.

It’s all part of the journey. I think it’s important to respect where people are in their personal journeys of discovery, even if their on a path that isn’t our own. All paths lead to truth (some are just a bit longer than others).

One of my college friends always used to say, “Do what you do.” It’s a great mantra. So, do what you do – so long as it brings happiness, peace and love into your life, and the lives of the people around you. If being a slut does that, then do it up.

102 Comments

  1. The only thing bad about being a slut is that at least ONE person out of the “fuck buddies” you had sex with already by some chance have a partner. xD So really all it does is hurt people and kill real relationships. xD My only request is this, fuck off from my spouse and you can swim in secretions all you want. XD

    A bit of trolling there, :L but you gotta give that some thought to the fact that it is true of what i have just said. ^^

  2. Indulging yourself in something that mes you happy and doesn’t harm anyone is perfectly natural. I see slut as a compliment. I’m 18, i’ve had 8 different partners (4 of which were females). I’ve never hurt anyone emotionally, i was always either in a relationship with the person or simply good friends. i’ve never cheated or enabled a cheater.

    Oh, and I’m not gross thank you very much, I have very good hygiene and to be perfectly blunt, I’m still as tight as I was the first time. My fiance knows of my past, and loves that I’m experienced. He actually enjoys calling me those “bad” names during sex or as terms of endearment.

    FYI, theres a whole subculture in the bdsm community who wear the term slut with pride.

  3. I think people who are insecure and need to be in some settled (boring) steady marriage without any passion or even truly engaging conversation can do that if they wish (and continue living a rather irrelevant life). Sometimes marriage can be a wonderful thing if the two parties involved are mature adult partners who apply the point that they don’t live life the way others want them to. If people wish to go out and live their lives in a flirtatious vivacious way then so be it. Life is too short to let others live it for you and sex is a small part of a holistic life. Just as it is for men, there are different men for different times in a woman’s life and through different phases. It isn’t even truly about sex. It is about bonding and relationships, and if you are ready and willing to have sex then it is actually your decision. Society has no say in that haha since as Dr. Seuss notes those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. In the end. Please prioritise and then live and let live.

    1) don’t boast if you have had multiple partners (it shows that you still are living life for others’ fickle opinions and not for the betterment of yourself or those in nee). It is a personal journey so embrace that
    2) no regrets. Others will try to punish you enough no matter what decision you take in order to make themselves feel better because of their own insecurities. There is no need for you to punish yourself as well
    3) try not to be drunk when having sex unless it was a decided to do so prior to the drunken raunchy evening. Be levelheaded and mature about your decision. Do it only for yourself and not the guy, and try to steer clear of the little boys who want to have five minute sex to brag to their boys. That’s just a waste of time and emotional energy
    4) if someone calls you a slut, remember it is because they are frustrated about not having a say about how your life should go. They say it, you smile and laugh at their pathetic attempt. You can only really be treated how you let people treat you. Any response from you indicates that they are pushing your buttons, so they will continue with that behaviour. You need to truly be above what others try and make you be, including potential husbands who want to be with a young (and often completely and utterly naive) virgin… who needs the hypocrit anyway. Na ah sister
    5) stay proud of who you are and give yourself a chance to grow and mature into who you really want to become. Steer clear of opportunistic people, bullies, insecure people, those without any direction in life and those who are fixated only upon sex. Realise that you will always find people who love you for who you are if you are secure and confident, because they are usually secure

    Just live your life now.

  4. [And let’s be real… most of us have, at at least some point in our lives, been promiscuous (myself included). Maybe it was the one night stand you had while on Spring break. Or the cute guy you met on the train. Degrading someone because of their sexual promiscuity is a lot like the pot calling the kettle black.]

    Sorry, but maybe in the line of people you know. Sexual promiscuity is unheard of in my area, sure, we have more than one sexual partner in our lifetimes, but they’re in a relationship with them and aren’t “easy”.

    Nice how you tried to stereotype the average woman. Such a shame you can’t use it on everyone.

    [One of my college friends always used to say, “Do what you do.” It’s a great mantra. So, do what you do – so long as it brings happiness, peace and love into your life, and the lives of the people around you. If being a slut does that, then do it up.]

    Ah wise words from a young and hedonistic college student.

    Reminds me of eric cartman’s “I do what I want”.

  5. The logic of having sex with multiple partners is not quite the same as having icecream or driving a car. When one is having an icecream, one is responsible for his own actions only . When one is driving a car, he is responsible for his own car and a car he may hit . But when one is having sex with multiple partners, he is responsible for any STD his partner might get and any STD his promiscous partner might transfer to his other partner who might transfer to another promiscous partner and this chain might go on in geometric progression . And in the end , an innocent not-promiscous person might get infected when any of the promiscous people try to get into a serious relationship.There are some STDs which condoms don’t prevent and are can pass on just by touching of the genital areas. Most people don’t test for STDs until they start showing symptoms. What is the garantuee that he hasn’t already infected 5 more people (who themselves infected 5 others and so on ) before they started showing symptoms and got tested ?
    Moreover , studies have shown oxytocin that is released during sex is related to romantic attachment as well . So basically , the promiscous person feels romantic attachment for many people at the same time ….so what is the garantuee that he /she will not cheat in a relationship ?
    If not slutshaming means to think that this behavior is perfectly fine or having respect for someone who indulges in this behavior, then I’m very happy to be a slutshamer

    • “When one is driving a car, he is responsible for his own car and a car he may hit .”

      I don’t get it it your responsible for any damage you cause in your car isn’t that the same thing you do from any damage you cause from being a slut?

      You forget that all your talk about STD’s care be significatly reduced with protection.

      “If not slutshaming means to think that this behavior is perfectly fine or having respect for someone who indulges in this behavior, then I’m very happy to be a slutshamer”

      If you’re so worried about people spreading STD’s why not promote safe sex and not coming off as someone judgmental?

    • Yes there are some STD’s(I’s) that condoms don’t protect, but they can still help, that is where personal responsibly comes in. I like to translate what many people say about this issue into As long as you’re a SSS slut (Safe, conSensual, and Single) for the most part there should be no problem. Your slut shaming in my eyes makes you not very respectable either. I understand not being worried, but that doesn’t equal being a judgmental prick.

  6. good one…. thank you for writing .. i benefited

  7. Davey? Jesus Christ, dude, you’re all over the net =D

    But I divert. Know that whole gender-based double standard about promiscuity? Well, I’ve noticed it’s the other way around with homosexuality. “¿Guy having sex with many girls? Good. ¿Girl having sex with many guys? Bad;” HOWEVER, “¿Girl having sex with girl? Good. ¿Guy having sex with guy? Bad.” (Huh?! wtf…). People are weird, those eccentric members of the primate order that they are. I wish I knew what went on in those peculiar heads of theirs.

  8. @charlesyray, the whole purpose of my comment was to explain that there is nothing called “safe sex” . Thats why I mentioned that ” There are some STDs which condoms don’t prevent and can pass on just by touching of the genital areas. Most people don’t test for STDs until they start showing symptoms. What is the garantuee that he hasn’t already infected 5 more people (who themselves infected 5 others and so on ) before they started showing symptoms and got tested ? ” Thats why I wrote that I’m happy to be judged as “judgemental ” if you say so .

    And about the car logic …it means that a driver who hits another car is only responsible for the car he has hit and his own car …Not a chain of cars unlike STDs which can spread to a chain of people from a single person . Hope you get it now ?

    • “that there is nothing called “safe sex” .”
      Wrong.They have been proven to rather effective against many STD’s.

      “There are some STDs which condoms don’t prevent and can pass on just by touching of the genital areas.”
      And there are sexual practices to adapt to that. Just because they aren’t fullproof doesn’t mean they aren’t a help. If they weren’t they wouldn’t be made.

      “What is the garantuee that he hasn’t already infected 5 more people (who themselves infected 5 others and so on ) before they started showing symptoms and got tested ?”

      That is a matter of personal responsibility. If someone is going to be slutty they should take it upon themselves to get tested regularly.

      “Thats why I wrote that I’m happy to be judged as “judgemental ” if you say so .”
      Well that is productive….

  9. you are just saying that condoms reduce the chances of STDs . You’re not taking into account that they don’t totally eradicate the chances of getting any STDs even if the person responsibly uses the condom correctly .Show me any article that says condoms totally eradicate the chances of getting any STD and then I’ll shut up

    • I know condoms don’t eradicate the chances of getting an STD(They come close with a lot of them apparently) nothing in life is 100%.

      But like i said people should take personal responsibly if they want to screw around by getting checked and being honest. If they can’t accept the risks and what it entails, but still engage in that stuff that is where I have a problem, and I’m sure you do too.

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